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| JERRY REMY |
RED SOX : BASEBALL 2014
March 30,2014.
c/o Ron Chimelis
The Republican
On a weekend the Red Sox are poised to begin their World Series title defense, the world they inhabit is talking about Jerry Remy.
It is one of the saddest things in baseball I have seen.
Much as many of us (and Remy) had hoped the long and dark shadow cast by Remy's son, Jared, might be set aside for a few months of baseball, we now see it will not. A stunning blockbuster story in the Boston Globe last week detailed a lifelong trail of arrests, violent tendencies and warning signs attached to Jared Remy.
It catalogued the unrelenting support of his family and the tragic failures within the legal justice system to put society's protection ahead of giving countless second chances to a dangerous kid with a famous name.
As Jerry Remy grimly and doggedly prepares to continue his work as Red Sox analyst for NESN, it is apparent his public will not be allowed to put aside this horror story until Jared's trial this fall. Neither will he.
When Remy chose to continue in his very public job, the prevailing public mood seemed to be one of compassion and support. Sentiment seemed to favor letting a man deal with the heartache of his son's tragic life without the double penalty of forfeiting his work.
That sentiment, which I share, probably still prevails. But amongst the public, it might be wavering and it is certainly being tested.
With new controversy ignited by the Globe story and reports that the Remy family sought custody of the child whose mother was allegedly murdered by Jared Remy (a potential court battle that was avoided when the families reportedly agreed Tuesday to settle the matter), Jerry went on WEEI's "Dennis and Callahan Show.''
The Friday interview revealed a man pulled in various directions by guilt, an urge to defend himself and his wife, an effort to understand public disapproval and a need to stand by his son, even after all that happened.
That he went on radio at all implied a sense of responsibility on his part, since most people would flatly refuse comment. But whatever he says won't help, and this interview didn't help, either.
He revealed he was paying his son's legal costs. Jared Remy's not-guilty plea has been largely overlooked in the public debate, but it is part of the legal landscape.
Yet Jerry Remy's comments leave an indelible impression of a father coming to grips with the hopelessness of the situation, even as he pays lawyers to offer his son the best possible defense.
Without elaborating, he said some aspects of the Globe story were false or misleading. Added together with his insistence that even a share of the custody arrangement for his grandchild is appropriate, Remy risks painting the unintended impression of someone who is falling into the denial trap again.
"We’re going to have (the grandchild) on the phone with (Jared) from the can? Give me a break,'' said Remy, mocking the implication.
"We’re going to take her for visitations to jail? Give me a break. We’re not stupid, either.''
He sounded offended that people would think such a thing. But what can people be expected to think?
Nobody is saying Jerry Remy or his wife are stupid. What they have been saying is that they have not been objective. Even he can't deny that.
Raising questions about whether they can make decisions that reflect a sense of detachment from their son are hard, painful questions. But they are not stupid and disgusting questions, as Jerry Remy felt they were.
Remy said he can accept being called the world's worst parent. No fair-minded person would do that.
But events of the last week shattered the hope that Jared and Jerry Remy could somehow be kept separate this summer, one brought to bear for his alleged deeds and the other allowed to pursue his celebrity job.
Listening to Remy's well-honed baseball analysis and wry humor in spring training tempted many of us to think that could be done. In truth, it was unrealistic from the outset.
The murder trial is set for the fall, right around the time Red Sox baseball talk should be about the playoffs. Similarly, Opening Day talk that should be about this championship ballclub has been shoved aside by the history of the son and the involvement of a father who retains the support of his TV station, the Red Sox and by all indications, a public majority - even as a re-examination of those feelings in the public might be underway.
It's hard to ask a broadcaster to stop talking, but in the case of his son, it's time Jerry Remy does. Yet even if we have heard his last words of the subject, Jared Remy will cast an inescapable pall over Red Sox broadcasts, much as Jerry Remy, his millions of fans and people such as myself had hoped it would not.
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